Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mothers Day

Today is mothers day.  Jon wrote the previous completely surprised me.  I had no idea he even knew our "blog address"!  I was in tears reading it (literally) because I was laughing so hard, could completely relate and because I love him so much. In so many ways he makes my being a mother so much easier.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  I have a wonderful mom who taught me so much and loved me.  Not until you have children do you realize how much your parents really love you.  It is an amazing thing how much love our hearts can hold for our children.  I love the pictures above because they represent the two days, July 21st (elle's b-day) and December 13th (gwen's b-day), that I officially became a mother.  I love those pictures.  They were taken so shortly after our girls were born.  I feel so blessed to be a mom, more specifically, Elle and Gwen's mom.  I have always known what an amazing gift being a mother is.  I feel blessed that I understand that even though somedays seem monotonous, they are not meaningless.  As mind numbing as unloading the dishwasher AGAIN can be, or breaking up a fight, or having to rationalize for 15 minutes why patent leather shoes are not a good idea for a school field trip, I still get the bigger picture.  There really is nothing more important that I could be doing right now than raising our girls.  Yes, I get burned out.  In fact, Jon called home the other day and I was being really quiet on the phone.  he said, "hey, where are you"?  I didin't know if I should start laughing or crying but I sheepishly said, "I am sitting in the dark in our garage on the floor...I needed a break and I am drinking a diet coke.  I can't talk too loudly or they will find me".  Yes I have days that seem like they last for months but when I look at the girls asleep in their little beds, they are growing up much too quickly!  I feel blessed that I can stay at home with them and hug them and hold them tight when they are sad or happy.  I love that we can put music on and dance in the kitchen while they help me clean.  (Elle's favorite cleaning song is "Boogie Shoes" and Gwen gets a big crooked smile on her face and dances by turning around and around in a circle).  I love when Jon puts them in bed with me in the morning before he leaves for work and we watch cartoons together. There is an amazing essay on motherhood from the author, Anna Quindlen.  My friend Elizabeth quoted her today in a talk she gave at church.  This quote from the essay that she shared has been ringing in my ears all day.  
"The biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this (being a mom).  I did not live in the moment enough.  This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs.  There is one picture of the three of my children sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1.  And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night.  I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed.  I wish I had treasued the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less".  

I try to whisper in my girls ears throughout the day, "I love being your mommy". I said it to Elle the other night as I was putting her in her bed.  I thought she was asleep.  She whispered back to me, "I love being your Ellers" with her eyes still shut.  Those are the moments that I will hold on to forever.  That is what being a mom is all about.  I adore these sweet little angels that I was given to care for.  I dreamed that I would be their mom from before they were born.  

Happy Mothers Day

Amy was gone Friday and Saturday for  stake youth conference and I had the girls all on my own.  With Mothers Day this weekend, it was a good opportunity for me to see how much Amy does on a daily basis.  Friday evening and night were no problem.  However Saturday morning when the girls woke up, the fun started.  Both girls were hungry and Elle wanted to go to the Bagel Shack.  I thought, "no problem"!  I got the girls dressed and when I got to the Bagel Shack it was packed.  No parking spots and it was crazy inside.  Trying to park, get the kids out, get the stroller for Gwen and navigate the traffic was a bit much.  Once inside I was trying to get into the huge line but with the stroller and Elle grabbing Bagels we ended up getting cut in front of 10 times.  I'm sure it was very funny for the people to watch.  Gwen decided to have a complete meltdown in the stroller.  One word.  ArchBack!!  This continued as I tried to get Elle to hurry and finish her bagel.  I felt much better once we were back in the car belted up and driving out of the parking lot.  For the past few days I had been looking for a camera lens that Amy wanted for her mothers day gift.  Of course it was sold out everywhere.  I tried 30 stores.  Friday night I found a store that had it but it was in Santa Ana.  I decided to drive there after the bagel shack.  When we got there the store seemed unusually busy and then I noticed their "no tax" sale for the weekend.  A professional camera store, tons of people and me with the kids... not a good combo.  It took Gwen 2 minutes before having another complete meltdown.  As I tried to get someone to help me I finally gave-in to Gwen and let her down and told Elle to watch her.  We were surrounded by lots of breakable items!  Once I finally got someone to help me, I was told that they were sold out of the lens I wanted.  At that same time I heard things flying off the shelves behind me and realized it was because of Gwen.  I almost lost it.  I told the guy I had called and that they told me they had the lens in and that I had to load the kids up and drive from San Clemente!!  I grabbed Gwen who was continuing to pull things off the racks and told Elle to follow me.  I had asked her to pick up some of the items Gwen had pulled off the shelves and Elle thought I asked her to bring them with her.  As I walked out of the store I turned around to see where Elle was.  She was now in the custody of the security guard who now thought we were some kind of shoplifting team.  I got back into the car and started to pull out when Elle says, "Dad, Gwen is stinky".  I knew what had happened... I just didn't know how bad.  I pulled over and as I pulled Gwen out to change her, we had it everywhere.  A total blow out!!!  It was all over the car seat, her clothes and body.  It took me a good 30 minutes to get it cleaned up.  I decided at that point the best chance for survival would be to retreat back to the house.  Gwen didn't sleep long at home for her nap because she had fallen asleep in the car on our way home.  The rest of the day consisted of lots of sippy cups, snacks, a fun trip to the park, another blow out from Gwen who managed to get her diaper off in the crib and to finish the day off I found Gwen standing up on the kitchen table ripping our mail up.  Right about then is when I realized that this is what Amy deals with everyday.  This is one of the many reasons why I love her and why the girls love their mommy so much.  The girls were so excited to see their mom when she walked in.  Gwen especially...she ran with open arms and a big grin straight into Amy's arms.  Elle mentioned to me that, "mom is much better at this" several times, which I will have to agree with.  Happy Mothers Day!  Thank you for working so hard and for being the Best Mom for our girls.  I love you.