Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I am home with my sweet Elle tonight. Jon is taking the night duty with our little Gwen. Elle asked when mommy and daddy would both be home so that we could "do the elle sandwich". That is where we lay in bed, Elle in the middle, Jon and I on either side hugging her. She misses having mommy and daddy together at home. Tonight Elle did my make-up for me from her Hannah Montana make-up kit she got from Santa. Elle says I look fancy. Apparently sparkles are a good look on me. She said, "mama, this is really fun but still not really fun. I miss Gwen". These sisters really do love eachother. Yesterday I put the phone to Gwen's ear while I was at the hospital so Elle could talk to her. When Gwen heard Elle's voice she smiled through her tubes for the first time. So, so sweet. I also was reminded of the sweet little life inside of me today. I am 4 1/2 months pregnant. While sitting next to my Gwen, I felt the baby move for the first time inside of me. A sweet reminder of another blessing in our lives. These are the little happy things I don't want to forget or take for granted. Tomorrow is a big day again. The doctors are going to take another chest x-ray in the morning in hopes that we can pull the breathing tubes out. Say a special prayer for Gwen that her lungs will clear up and we can move forward. We are having withdrawals from her sweet personality and laugh. I am needing one of her signature neck hugs. Until tomorrow, may we all have sweet dreams and healing thoughts for Gwen.
The tears kept flowing last night. Tears of sadness but mostly gratitude. There is something about the blanket of night that makes things a lot more raw. I laid in the chair next to my gwen watching her breathe through the bars of the hospital crib. The only sounds were those of machines and other parents just like me comforting their little ones. All of us in our daily routines until the fragility of life was thrust upon us. I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I still have my little girl. She is going to come out of this stronger. I think we all will. My eyes well-up just thinking about how our family has been showered with love. Countless acts of kindness, love and concern. I have read each email and text message and listened to each caring voice mail. Thank you. The doctors have decided to give gwen another day to rest and heal. Too much fluid still in her lungs. So her sweet dreams can continue uninterrupted for another day. We are a blessed family.