Sunday Mornings

I love Sunday mornings.  My Jon is home and we don't have to hurry and get out of our pajamas. This morning the girls were racing around our kitchen on these hot pink plasma cars.  They call this game, "freeway".  The kitchen island makes the perfect round-a-bout and they get going pretty fast.  I need to video it because I love how they sound...laughing and racing all around.  Elle does an amazing "skid-out" when she gets to the front door.  If you come and visit us, she will be sure to show off this incredible skill.  I love how Jon is cooking away in the background of the last photo.  I poured cereal for the girls (that's my best breakfast trick) and then Jon came into the kitchen with a much better plan and pulled out bagels and eggs and made us all amazing breakfast sandwiches.  He treats his girls well...all 3 of us :)

The Love Buckets

These little buckets are filled with sweet notes and toys that people have sent these two little girls during Gwen's recovery.  I have often thought how thoughtful everyone was to remember Elle as well as Gwen.  I explained to the girls that these buckets look like they are filled with toys but that they really are filled with love.  People that love them thought to send them these sweet little gifts.  Going through the love buckets is a favorite past-time around here.  Thank you again for being soo incredibly generous and thoughtful.  We love each of you.

Secrets

Elle taught Gwen the art of telling secrets.  It is THEIR little thing they do together and they will NOT tell me what they are saying.  Gwen's sounds mostly like breathy jibber-jabber but Elle is really confiding in Gwen.  It is pretty cute.  I love watching these two sisters interact. Priceless.  I hope they will continue to confide in eachother for the rest of their lives.  That's what sisters are for.  

The Big Day

We showed up at the hospital this morning at 5:45 a.m.  Gwen was prepped and ready for surgery on her elbow.  We ended up having to wait 2 hours while the hospital tried to locate cherry flavoring for her medicine.  What?!  Since she couldn't have any liquids we couldn't mix it in with juice (my brilliant idea).  Needless to say she was lucky she had her daddy there to entertain her.  Jon is amazing at laytex glove balloons, a hidden talent of his.  They took her off to the operating room and returned an hour or so later.  Turns out, they did not need to operate.  They took her bright pink cast off and used a machine to manipulate her elbow around and realized that her joint was in place just fine.  This is the second time she has avoided this surgery.  Hooray!  They re-casted her and sent her on her way.  When Jon and I were called back to the recovery room, there she was all bundled up in warm blankets sipping apple juice with a nurse.  When she saw us she said, "mommy, dadda"!  Those words never get old.  She then wanted her daddy to hold her (Gwen is a daddy's girl through and through.  True love I tell you).  And despite making the doctor write a special note on her surgery papers (for real) to remember the pink fiberglass, this morning they could not find pink.  Obviously not a pediatric hospital; no cherry syrup flavoring and only neutral cast colors...so white it is.  We are now home and miss gwenners is watching The Tigger Movie on TV snuggled in on the couch.  Another happy day.  

Happy

Can't get this little saying out of my head lately.  My good friend Stacey bought this print to hang in her home and I think it is perfection.  I have spent the last week in doctors offices. Mainly in doctors waiting rooms with a two year old who hasn't had a nap.  This cute little poster has come to my mind often.  I can't wait for situations to be perfect and think, "then I will be happy".  One of the many things lately that makes me happy is how well my baby Gwen is doing.  We saw the burn team yesterday for her road rash and she is healing so well we don't have to go back!  They even presented her with a diploma (seriously).  We meet with the trauma team for her lung x-ray on Tuesday.  She seems to be breathing easily and in no discomfort.  Gwenners loves her bright pink cast and has not fussed for even one minute over it.  After her orthopaedic appointment on Wednesday we were told she needed surgery on her elbow.  Tomorrow morning is the big event.  Her dislocation was pretty severe and the doctor wants to make certain that her joint is perfectly in place.  He was unable to tell from the x-ray that was taken on her last visit.  

I continue to be overwhelmed with the amount of love our family has received and continues to receive.  I am surrounded by amazing friends and family.  I have never felt so blessed and so grateful for the people in my life.  Elle and Gwen each have a little bucket of toys.  Toys that friends and loved ones have dropped by or mailed to us.  How fun is that?!  I teach the 12 year old girls at church and they gave Elle a "heart attack".  While she was at preschool they decorated her room with hearts.... cut out construction paper hearts all over her walls and bed.  The hearts had little love notes on them about how brave she was.  She even had pink and purple balloons in her room. She came home and I told her to run upstairs and get something in her room.  I heard her scream with glee when she got up there.  She said, "mama, I just DO NOT KNOW why people are so nice to me.  I mean I just can't believe how nice people are to me".  Pretty cute.  We have had dinner dropped off at our home every night this week.  Every night.  Elle has gone to friends homes while I am at the doctors' visits with Gwen and even my silly preschool carpool duties have been taken on by these same dear friends.  I want to cry just thinking about how appreciative I am not for just the sweet and thoughtful gifts but mainly for the love and support.  And so many prayers...so many people united in prayer for our sweet two year old.  I feel so humbled.  That is the only word that comes to my mind.  I want to be better.  I have amazing people all around me that I want to emulate.  This has truly been a learning experience in so many ways.  Countless ways.  I am one blessed and HAPPY mama.

Pink of Course

Yesterday Gwen and I headed back up to the hospital to get x-rays and a hard cast put on her arm.  She chose pink of course... a girl after my own heart.  She is doing amazingly well.  The netting you see on her arm and chest is because of her roadrash.  Jon and I clean it each day (she is not happy about that), put medicated jelly on it mixed with antibacterial powder and then vaseline coated gauze strips.  The netting holds everything in place.  Her broken ribs have not been as big of an issue as we anticipated.  I think most of the healing was done as she slept in the hospital (another blessing).  We have an appointment next week as well with the trauma team to check on her lungs.  A follow-up to make sure all is well.  We are all so happy to be back in our home together.  I haven't gone anywhere (besides the hospital) this past week and I couldn't be happier about it. Just so nice to be home with my girls. 

Sweet Elle

Pregnancy gives me insomnia.  At 3:30 am I woke up and just laid in bed thinking about how much our little family has been through over the past 2 weeks.  I got out of bed and had to go and check on my girls.  I crawled into bed with my sweet sleeping Elle.  There she was all cozy in her bed having sweet dreams and sucking her thumb without a care in the world.  I just snuggled right up to her.  There is something so sweet and innocent about a sleeping child. Especially when that child is your own.  Nothing can compare.  I kissed her rosy little cheeks and then moved on to my sweet sleeping Gwen.  Couldn't crawl into her crib but believe me, if  I wasn't 6 feet tall and 5 months pregnant, I would have.  I just leaned over and kissed her little forehead and watched her little chest go up and down with each breath.  What a blessing it is to see that after seeing her just one week ago attached to so many machines that had to do it for her.  This morning Elle and I had a quiet minute together.  The accident came up and she started to talk about it.  She said, "mama, when Gwen was hit by the car and you were on the ground holding her, I said a prayer that my baby sister wouldn't die.  And mama, I felt inside of me that she would be OK."  My eyes welled-up.  She had never told me that sweet little incident.  These little ones are much more in-tune with spiritual things.  They are so innocent and so pure.  I was again reminded that miracles do happen and that our family was the recipient of one.  I want to be thankful and forever mindful of how blessed we are.  We have eachother.  

Home

We're home.   I can't tell you how nice it was to walk into our house with my little Gwen and put her in her own crib.  I was able to rock her to sleep in the rocking chair in her room.  Jon and I talked last night about how grateful we are...for everything.  Our perspective on life has shifted.  My friend Karsen sent me a quote from an essay she had been reading.  It truly has touched me.  I can't stop going over it in my mind.  It reads...

"We sleepwalk through most of our lives...and...every once in a while something happens...outside of ourselves that forces us to pay attention in a new way, or something happens inside of us that enables us to pay attention in a new way.  And we suddently realize that the world is so much richer, and more magnificent, and more wonderful than we had felt for a long time.  Not to sentimentalize but I think children live much more consciously in a state of awareness of the miraculousness of existence." Scott Russell Sanders

This experience has touched our whole family.  It has made us better as individuals.  It has made me want to be better.  A better friend,  a better sister, a better daughter, a better mother, a better wife. Interesting how the hardest periods of our lives end up being the experiences that enable us to be or atleast be on the road to becoming the kind of person that we want to be.  This experience has done that for me.  As hard as it was, I have learned so much and now have a new heightened awareness of how truly blessed we are.   

Time to Heal

My little Gwen has been going through some pretty severe withdrawals from coming off of so many drugs.  She was sedated for 6 days so it just takes time to free her body of the drugs' effects.  She was calm but stayed awake for over 40 hours and her little body could not stop shaking.  This morning she is doing much better and is smiling.  We are trying to get her to eat on her own.  Her ribs and broken arm and elbow are not seeming to bother her too much at this point.  The burn team still comes in each day to clean her roadrash and it is healing nicely.  We are hopeful that we can take her home with us in the next few days.  I held her on my chest like this for hours on end yesterday. There is nothing more peaceful than your baby in your arms.  Gwen just needs time now to heal.  We all do.  

Answered Prayers

Our prayers have been answered. The x-rays this morning showed that Gwen's lungs looked well enough for her breathing tube to be removed. At 9:30 am our little Gwenners took her first breaths on her own. She is doing wonderfully well. Better than any of us expected. I was driving to the hospital when Jon called and told me they had just removed her breathing tube. When I walked into the Pediatric ICU Gwen smiled and said, "mommy"! She then started to cry and so did I. I have never felt such joy. The nurses and doctors are keeping her pain free. She still has a feeding tube in her nose but that will be removed tomorrow morning. We held our baby today for the first time in 6 days. Tears of joy streamed down all of our cheeks. Jon and I were in heaven. She is being closely monitored and we will stay here for another 5 to 7 days. As I sit and watch her I feel the heavy weight that has been on my heart lifting. This has been a faith promoting experience for all of us. Even our sweet Elle has gained a greater appreciation for prayer. We know that Gwen has been watched over and we will be forever grateful to the countless number of people that have been so mindful of our little family. Please know how deeply appreciative we are to each of you for all of your kind words, thoughts and prayers. Life is such a precious gift.

Happy Things

I am home with my sweet Elle tonight.  Jon is taking the night duty with our little Gwen.  Elle asked when mommy and daddy would both be home so that we could "do the elle sandwich". That is where we lay in bed, Elle in the middle, Jon and I on either side hugging her.  She misses having mommy and daddy together at home.  Tonight Elle did my make-up for me from her Hannah Montana make-up kit she got from Santa.  Elle says I look fancy.  Apparently sparkles are a good look on me.  She said, "mama, this is really fun but still not really fun. I miss Gwen". These sisters really do love eachother.  Yesterday I put the phone to Gwen's ear while I was at the hospital so Elle could talk to her.  When Gwen heard Elle's voice she smiled through her tubes for the first time. So, so sweet.  I also was reminded of the sweet little life inside of me today.  I am 4 1/2 months pregnant.  While sitting next to my Gwen, I felt the baby move for the first time inside of me.  A sweet reminder of another blessing in our lives.  These are the little happy things I don't want to forget or take for granted.  Tomorrow is a big day again.  The doctors are going to take another chest x-ray in the morning in hopes that we can pull the breathing tubes out.  Say a special prayer for Gwen that her lungs will clear up and we can move forward.  We are having withdrawals from her sweet personality and laugh.  I am needing one of her signature neck hugs.  Until tomorrow, may we all have sweet dreams and healing thoughts for Gwen.  

Gratitude

The tears kept flowing last night. Tears of sadness but mostly gratitude. There is something about the blanket of night that makes things a lot more raw. I laid in the chair next to my gwen watching her breathe through the bars of the hospital crib. The only sounds were those of machines and other parents just like me comforting their little ones. All of us in our daily routines until the fragility of life was thrust upon us. I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I still have my little girl. She is going to come out of this stronger. I think we all will. My eyes well-up just thinking about how our family has been showered with love. Countless acts of kindness, love and concern. I have read each email and text message and listened to each caring voice mail. Thank you. The doctors have decided to give gwen another day to rest and heal. Too much fluid still in her lungs. So her sweet dreams can continue uninterrupted for another day. We are a blessed family.

Sweet Gwen Update: Day 5

First I would like to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your love, support and prayers.  It is humbling to be in this position and we are so grateful for each of you.  Our sweet gwen is stable and doing well.  Yesterday was a rough day.  They took her breathing tubes out to see how she could do on her own.  In order to do this, she had to wake up from her anesthesia.  Jon and I hovered over her and the doctors asked us to keep talking with her to encourage her to open her eyes.  She slowly opened her eyes and made eye contact.  As she woke up she also became quite aware of her pain and her situation.  As a parent this was the hardest part.  She had big tears coming down her cheeks and kept looking into our eyes and saying, "owwwwwe".  We kept encouraging her and kissing her little forehead and I sang a few of her favorite songs into her ear.  It is amazing how just those little things calmed her down. She just needs to know that her mommy and daddy are there and love her.  As the tubes were gently pulled from her throat, they put an air mask over her mouth and nose.  We all just sat and watched and waited.  I watched as her chest rose up and down with each breath.  It was like watching so many other "firsts" as a parent.  Her first steps, her first word...this was her first breath on her own since the accident.  Her little body was struggling.  The doctors and nurses who have been amazing through all of this, watched intently for a few hours.  Jon and I stayed right in her sweet face the whole time sending reassuring words into her little ears.  It was eventually determined that the breathing tubes needed to go back in.  More time for her wounds to heal, more time for her body to rest.  As they sedated her there was a feeling of relief as her body started to relax and she was again having sweet dreams unaware of her situation.  Tomorrow we will try again.  For now her sweet little body and mind are resting and healing.  Jon just called and gave me her latest stats: her chest xray looked the best it has looked this morning.  They have her on antibiotics to fight some of the infections that are common with suction tubes. They will take chest tube out of her side today which has been draining the blood from her lungs. The burn unit team comes to her twice a day to clean her road rash which they treat as a burn.  Her doctor is pleased with her progress and when they pull the tube tomorrow, he said he would sit with her and monitor her the entire day (we love dr. knight).  Once the tube is pulled it will be a game of watching how she is breathing and keeping her calm and out of pain.  Either Jon or I have been at her bedside continually.  We are together with her during the day and we switch off sleeping next to her each night.  It is important for us as well that Elle also feels loved and involved.  We naturally love and care for her just as much.  She loves to visit Gwen and has been having fun playdates with friends.  We have tried to keep her schedule as routine as possible.  We told Elle that until Gwen comes home from the hospital she gets to have a sleepover each night in mommy and daddy's bed with whichever one of us is home.  She LOVES it.  Last night we snuggled in bed together and watched the Wizard of Oz until she dozed off to sleep.  This morning I let her sleep-in and miss preschool so she could have some much needed mommy and home time.  Please keep our little Gwenners in your prayers.  Again, we are confident and have faith that she will make a full recovery.  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all of your love.

xo

amy

Sweet Gwen

Our sweet little Gwen was hit by a car yesterday.  She is stable and doing well.  We know that she will make a full recovery.  From the accident she sustained a collapsed lung, 5 broken ribs, a dislocated elbow and her arm is broken in 2 places.  The miracles (and I do not use that word lightly) are that she has no brain damage...her CT scan came back normal as did the MRI on her neck.  We know that she is being watched over and protected.  She is doing wonderfully well considering the circumstances.  A breathing machine has been working for her to let her lungs rest.  Tonight they are trying to reduce the amount of help from the machine to see if she can breathe over it on her own.  Our prayer is that Gwen can start to breathe on her own.  Jon and I are overwhelmed with the amount of love and concern we have received from our family and friends.  Please know that it is because of each of you that we are able to be strong for our Gwen. Please keep her in your prayers.  

All our love,

Jon , Amy and Elle

Rainy Morning

Lazy morning...lots of rain, pajamas, waffles and syrup dippies.  Heaven.

Our Little Valentines

Jon and I went away for a few days.  It was a much needed break for both of us.  A beautiful hotel, room service, sleeping in until 9:30 both mornings and lots of time just to be together. Little outings like that make me realize that I just don't love Jon but that I am in love with him. We were dying to get away but the funny thing was that what we talked about most was what we had just left; our two little girls. We had an amazing time but it was so nice to get back to our little valentines.  When we got home they were both asleep.  Jon and I snuck into their rooms and kissed their little cheeks and whispered how much we loved and missed them in their ears.  This morning they were soo excited to see us and were even more excited to open up their valentine gifts...matching valentine jammies.  

The Little Things

Today these simple recycled glass vases made me smile.  They looked so pretty with the light shining on them from our windows and front door. 

A Simple and Sweet Request

I was folding laundry on my bed this afternoon.  Gwen was napping.  Elle tip-toed into my room and said, "mama, can you teach me how to fold"? Her only pre-requisite was that I open the shutters and the window so that we could hear the raindrops.  I was happy to oblige.

Tough Love

Bedtime.  Elle has a bath, brushes her teeth, gets a book read to her, says her prayers and then falls fast asleep.  Well, all of that is true except for the falling fast asleep part.  There is NOTHING fast about getting this girl to sleep.  Elle has artfully extended her bedtime each night.  It wasn't that big of a deal at first but over a period of time the nighttime routine became just the never ending routine.  We would get her all settled and then she would pop into our bedroom for some reason ie, thirsty, thinks she needs to brush her teeth a little more, just not tired, you name it, she has thought of the reason.  Jon and I decided we had to nip it now.  Here was our plan...and we were not playing around.  She gets the bath, brushing, book, prayers, snuggles but then that's it.  We told her that she can leave her door open but has to stay IN her bed.  If she gets out we will lock her door.  I even made her a chart.  Every night she stays in her room she gets to put a sticker on her chart in the morning.  Four stickers on the chart= a prize of her choice! She was pretty excited about the sticker chart.  So the first night she tested us and we held strong.  She popped out of her bed and came in for some excuse so back in her room she went and we had to lock it.  It wasn't an exercise in scaring her so she was allowed to have her light on but we did lock the door.  The crying was so sad to me.  But Jon said, we had to be strong...for her.  She cried herself to sleep. And you can bet that as soon as I knew she was asleep, I opened that door right up and snuggled her in her bed while she slept.  The next morning she begged for a sticker.  We had to tell her no.  That sad routine happened again the second night as well.  But the third night on (when she realized we were serious) it worked!  She now stays in her bed with her door open.  Each morning she puts a sticker on her chart and she has earned four prizes!  That is 16 nights of staying in her bed!  Her first two prizes she asked for were pretty cute.  All she wanted was to go to the mall and ride the glass elevator five times in a row!  So funny and so cute to me.  Her other prize was to go to the candy store.  We combined the two prizes and made a day of it.  We went straight to the glass elevator and rode that thing 5 times in a row.  She was in HEAVEN and could NOT believe that we really were doing it.  So, so fun.  We also headed to the candy store where she got a bag full of her favorites.  I love this little girl, and I must say that Jon was right.  We did it for her.  She is so much happier at bedtime now with her set rules and is so proud of herself each morning as she puts a sticker on to her sticker chart.  It was tough but so worth it. 

The only one for me...